Do I Have to Have Seating For All My Wedding Guests?



Guests have left their seats and gone to the dance floor. Notice they have a place to leave coats and purses.

 Let’s talk again about what is going to make your guests happy. I see some of the craziest advice out there about how you should plan your wedding and what you should do. Sometimes I want to ask these people have they ever even been to a wedding. A lot of times, I know they may have these ideas but I can guarantee you they are not the ones staying all night and watching these ideas work out.

For example, over and over again I hear “have a cocktail reception, let your guests mingle and don’t worry about seating for everyone.” Ok, after all my years of experience (and there are quite a few), I am here to tell you this WILL NOT WORK. Well at least it will not work for a wedding where there will be dancing and drinking after dinner. I think the term cocktail reception may be the problem. A lot of brides seem to think that if they are having heavy hor d’oeuvers, as the menu it is a “cocktail” reception. No, a cocktail reception is where there is no dancing or entertainment after dinner. It is eating, mingling and maybe some background music. These receptions are short, at the most two hours and then over.

If you are planning a typical wedding reception with cocktail hour, dinner, toasts, cake cutting, and dancing, not having seating for everyone is a DISASTOR as far as guests are concerned. I mean think about it, do you want to stand holding your purse, jacket and a plate of food for 4 or more hours. Of course not, no one does. Are you going to dance, holding your purse and jacket? No. What are you going to do? You are going to leave as soon as possible.

I can hear you saying “well my older guests will leave and then there will be enough seating for everyone”. Maybe, maybe some will leave early, most won’t leave until after the dancing is well underway. So who leaves… the people with no seats, the young people.

Every time we have a bride with a short seating count, (and this only happens with Month Of’s where I wasn’t involved in all the planning), my group spends most of the evening trying to find seats for people. Guests are dragging ugly folding chairs out of some closet or hallway.

You don't have to have chairs for everyone, seats on sofa's and benches work for a heavy hors d'oeuvres reception.

Now you ask, do I need an actual seat at a table for everyone? In a perfect world, yes this is the best for making your guests happy. But the true answer is no, you can get by with having just a chair, a spot on a sofa, a bench, it doesn’t matter as long as they can have a spot to sit down and call their own for the evening.

Another Very Happy Willrich Bride

Notes like this just make my day.  I love my job!

An Interview With Dimitra Designs Bridal Emporium

Justin Alexander Wedding Gown

If you have started the search for a wedding gown or bridesmaid’s gowns in the Upstate area, then there is no doubt that you have been to or at least heard about Dimitra Designs. Dimitra Designs Bridal Emporium in Greenville SC, offers full service bridal attire, wedding gowns, bridesmaids dresses, mother of the bride dresses, tuxedo rental, prom dresses and homecoming dresses.

I thought it would be interesting to find out a little more about the store, their philosophy and who they are. So we contacted them about doing an interview and here is what we learned.

Tell me what makes your company special:
We put an emphasis on matching up the right wedding dress with the bride’s personality – every bride should feel magical when walking the aisle, and we aim to make that happen. Our owner, Dimitra Mandala, has been immersed in the dressmaking world for over thirty years now, so we really do live and breathe all things wedding dresses.

How did you get started in the business?
Dimitra Mandala, our owner, worked in the fashion industry after graduating high school, working for notables including Nolan Miller and Bob Mackie. She was recruited by Stephen Yearick, a noted fashion designer in Greenville, SC. He eventually relocated his business to NYC, and Dimitra decided to open up her own bridal shop here in Greenville. We’ve been thriving ever since, and keeping up with emerging technology, such as ecommerce, blogging, social media, and mobile commerce.

What do you like best about your job?
I love the “wow” moment when a bride puts on that dress that is just “her” – it’s the moment when her breath is taken away and her mother and bridesmaids are just as speechless in awe.

Tell us about your favorite wedding or event:
We don’t always hear too much about the actual wedding, but our favorite brides to dress are the destination wedding brides. It’s fun to search through the dresses and find a dress that is beach-ready and pretty light, or a dress that has a more high-fashion or Victorian feel for a European-wedding, or something a little warmer for a winter destination wedding. We start to feel more like wedding dress matchmakers!

What are the questions a bride should ask when choosing a vendor in your field?
If you’re shopping online for a wedding dress, ask if they’re authorized sellers of the dress brand, and if they have a brick and mortar shop, as they’re truly immersed in the dresses then and you can call them up and know you’re dealing with professionals.

What’s the hardest thing about your job?
There are so many wedding dress brands and beautiful dresses in each brand, so it’s sometimes hard to get down to the final bunch of dresses and help the bride decide exactly which dress is “the one”, when in reality they’re all stunning.

Anything else we should know?
In addition to our website and brick and mortar bridal shop in Greenville, SC, we also have a wedding blog at www.dimitradesigns.net/dimitra. Our sister site, http://www.dressprom.net/, houses our prom and pageant dresses, and also has a blog at www.dimitradesigns.net/dressprom and our mobile site, http://www.m.dressprom.net/

Allure Wedding Dress

Sharing Your Wedding Budget - Yes or No

Before I meet with a new bride, I send her a form to fill out that will let me know a little more about what she is planning. It asks for details like if locations have been picked, if any vendors have been selected, what style of event they are looking for and what the budget is.

Probably about 50% of the time, the budget question comes back blank. Now either one or two things are happening, 1) they don’t have a budget idea yet or 2) they don’t want to tell me their budget.  If it is the first one, that they don’t have an idea of their budget, they need to be talking to each other, parents and anyone else who will be contributing to the budget, not making plans yet. You don’t need to meet with anyone or book anyone until you have at least a preliminary idea of what you will have to spend.

Now, if it is #2 then that’s a whole different problem. Most of the time when people don’t want to share a budget number it is because they think a higher budget might make my price go up, it doesn’t. I don’t care if your budget is $15,000 or $150,000 it does not affect my pricing. My prices are based on what will be involved with your wedding. How much time it will take to plan, how many assistants I will need, how many locations are involved and how much travel is involved. Not telling me your budget saves you nothing.

The reason I need to know the budget is to see if you can actually afford what you are planning. Can you afford the vendors you are interested in? I don't want to suggest vendors you can not afford.  Do you have a realistic idea of what a wedding actually costs? Are you inviting more people than you can possibly afford? I have no interest in trying to plan a Tiffany's wedding on a Walmart budget, as they say.  It's just not possible and no one is going to be happy.

Keeping your budget a secret from me or other vendors is a mistake. Instead of going to a caterer and not telling them your budget, tell them what you can afford to spend per head and see what they can come up with. You might be surprised. Same with florists tell them your budget numbers and let them work wonders within your budget. Keeping your budget a secret from your vendors is not going to save you anything and can lead to a lot of disappointment and heartbreak.

Things We Love - Sister Snowflakes, Custom Wedding Accessories

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of sitting down and talking with Sharen Charloff of Sister Snowflakes. Sister Snowflakes is a custom wedding accessory design company. Her company does beautiful made to order items such as wedding veils, flower girl baskets, ring pillows and table linens.

In fact, table linens were what lead to our meeting. Many times I have had the request for monogrammed cake table runners. These runners can be used on the cake table and then used in the home after the wedding. It makes the perfect keepsake. I am always looking for good resources for runners and that’s how I ran across Sister Snowflakes and Sharen.

Below is the interview we did to learn more about this company:

Tell me what makes your company special:

I truly am passionate about what I do and this passion translates itself into a beautiful finished product. I love creating one-of-a-kind items and will only deliver the best product possible.

How did you get started in the business?

I began sewing when I was 13 and always thought it would be nice to have my own business one day. Just over a year ago I was laid off from my corporate job of 21 years and decided that it was a great time to follow my dream.

What do you like best about your job?

Every job is unique. I love creating beautifully crafted products for my clients.

Tell us about your favorite wedding or event:

My favorite wedding was that of my eldest's daughter. I had the pleasure of making her veil and a few other items. It made the day really special for both of us.

What are the questions a bride should ask when choosing a vendor in your field?

Some general questions should include:

"Do you charge by the hour or by the job and how much deposit is required?" This can change depending on the extent of work to be done.

"Who will purchase the fabric?" Fabric is usually "in-addition" to the quoted price unless supplied by the bride, but again, depends on the job.

"Are you working on a job that I can see or have pictures of previous work?"

"Can you give me references?"

What’s the hardest thing about your job?

I have a lot of patience, but waiting to see the final version of the product I envisioned at the start can be trying at times.

Anything else we should know?

I am a perfectionist and thus finishing details are very important to me

Contact information for Sister Snowflakes:
http://www.sistersnowflakes.com/
sistersnowflakes@gmail.com

Is That Deal on a Reception Site Worth It?

You’re looking for a deal on a reception venue. You walk into a beautiful empty site. It’s half the price of other venues, but that price includes just the site, no tables, no linens, and no chairs. Is it worth it?

Well the answer is maybe. You won’t know until you figure out just what rentals you will need and what they will cost. Rentals add up quickly. Let’s look at the approximate cost of basic rentals for a wedding for 150 guests. (This assumes catering will be providing your china and silverware needs)

Now this is just a very basic rental list. We’re not including china, silverware, crystal, dance floor, lights, cake stand, lounge furniture, etc. Besides just the cost of the rentals, you have delivery fees, set up fees, pickup fees.

Then there is the problem of who will be responsible for making sure everything arrives and is set in the correct place. Who will be there for pickup at the end of the evening?

So, as you can see there is a lot to consider when renting just an empty space versus renting a hotel ballroom or any space where rentals are included. As always, make sure you know what you are getting and exactly what the cost will be before signing on the bottom line.

BHLDN, A New Line of Wedding Dresses

Unless you’ve been living under a rock these past few days, you know that Anthropologie has started their own wedding brand know as BHLDN (pronounced beholden). It became available to the public on Valentines Day. I haven’t seen this much hype since Vera Wang announced she was doing dresses for David’s Bridal.

With prices ranging from $1000 to $4000, these vintage inspired gowns aren’t cheap, but they are beautiful. BHLDN also has bridesmaids’ or “event” dresses ($200 to $600) to work with the wedding gowns and plenty of accessories. If for some reason you have not checked it out yet, you can go here and see all the beauty. Right now the dresses are only available online but Anthropolgie says that they will be opening locations in some major cities.

This one is my favorite.  Perfect for a mother of the bride!

What Happens Next, After You Say Yes

Since yesterday, Valentine's Day, is one of the most popular dates for girls to receive that dream proposal, we probably have some new readers that just received that ring.  I thought it might not hurt to go over again, "What Happens Next, After You Say Yes". 

After the parents and friends are told, and the excitement dies down a little. Just where do you start with planning your wedding? What happens next?  Suddenly, you will have everyone telling you what you need to do.  Whether or not they have recently gotten married, had a friend, sister or daughter that they helped plan their wedding, just attended a wedding or never even been to a wedding, everyone has advice.  Some

will be good, some will be out of date and some will be just plain crazy.  So what's a bride to do? Well I of course would suggest hiring a planner, in particular Willrich Bridal and Special Events,  but even if you can't  here are a few things you should know.

So many times I hear from brides, I just got engaged, bought my dress and have a reception site picked. What should I do next? Ok, there are several things wrong with this statement. After he slides that ring on your finger and you have informed all the family members of the upcoming event, the next thing you do NOT do is go out and buy the dress or pick a reception site.

Let me explain. First things first, ask those people that are most important to you to be in your wedding party. Discuss possible dates you have chosen with them and see if one of these dates will work with everyone. You don’t want to already have your date chosen and then find out your very best friend in the world is not going to be available on that date to be your maid of honor. (Side note: Be sure you are picking people for your wedding party that you can rely on and trust to do the things that need to be done.) Remember the bigger the wedding party the higher the cost. I always remind brides, that the more attendants you have, the higher your flower budget. All those bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres are not cheap.

After finding a date that will work, then start on a guest list. The number of guests you plan to invite affects everything, the size site you can use, the amount you will have to spend on food and alcohol, even down to the cost of ordering and mailing invitations. The more guests the higher your expense. If really good food, good flowers and alcohol are important to you, watch that list closely. Cost per guest adds up really quickly. I have many a bride that wanted a particular site only to figure out that it will not hold the amount of guests she wants to invite or is too expensive once everything is added up. It would be a tragedy, if they had already paid a large deposit and then figured this out.

After you have a good estimate on the number of guests you want to invite, and a site picked, then you start searching for your dress. The dress needs to reflect the formality or informality of the site. You don't want a ball gown if you are getting married in a barn. The colors at the site may also affect the choice you need to make in colors of your dress and the bridesmaids’ dresses. Also, at this point you will have a better budget idea of what you can spend on your dress. Many brides have learned too late, that they spent a large portion of the budget on the dress and now can’t afford the extras they dreamed of having.

The florist will need to see color samples or pictures of the dress and bridesmaid dress before he or she can help you decide on flowers. The baker will need to know how many guests, what the site looks like and details from your dress to help you decide on the perfect cake.

And one more important note, plan ahead, way ahead of the date you want to be married. The best sites and vendors in Greenville book a year or more in advance in most cases.

So as you can see, to have a beautiful, affordable wedding, you have to understand how all your choices affect each other and this is something that your wedding planner can help you understand.

Do I Really Need a Video of My Wedding Day?

Ok, my brides all know I’m all about saving money where you can, but I do have a few places that I strongly advise against saving money. One of the main ones is saving money by doing without a video. For some reason brides and grooms always leave the decision for a video to the very end. “I have pictures, why do I need a video” is something I hear a lot. Now let me get up on my soapbox and I will tell you why. There are two very important reasons.

Number One – How much would you love to be able to watch your Great Grandmother and Great Grandfather getting married? Actually hear their voices, see their parents, family and friends, all those people that passed away years ago. You’d really like that right. Well so will your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. A video is a movie of their past that they can see and hear. This will be one of the few times that all your family will be together at one time, why let that chance at a family record, slip away.

Number Two – Guess who is going to be the person that sees the least of what happens at your wedding. It’s going to be you, the bride. You won’t see guests coming in, you won’t see your handsome groom getting ready with the guys, you won’t see the processional or the cocktail hour and you’ll be to nervous and excited to remember much of what you do see. After all these months you have spent on making this the perfect event, you my dear will see very little of it. Don’t lose the chance to see your mother’s tears of joy or bestman’s goofy little dance.

With all the videographers out there today, there is someone for every budget. Even if you have to use a family member (which I recommend only as a last resort) get the video. I promise you will thank me for it.

The Rules for the Rehearsal Dinner

I get lots of questions about the rehearsal dinner so let’s go over some of the rules that govern this wedding event.

1. The rehearsal dinner takes place after the rehearsal. This is usually on the day before the wedding.
2. The rehearsal dinner is in honor of the groom and normally paid for by the groom’s family.
3. (And this is a biggie) It should never, ever, ever, rival the wedding reception. It should not be more elaborate, fancier, or more expensive, no matter how much the mother of the groom wants to show off.
4. It should tell you something about the groom. Maybe a cake representing his favorite sport, maybe take place at his favorite restaurant, maybe use his favorite colors. For this one night, he is the star and the bride accepts a somewhat background role.
5. There is always the question of who should be invited. The rule is everyone that attends the rehearsal, plus really close family and out of town guests. Now if this is a wedding where just about everyone is an out of town guest, then this part of the rule can be ignored.
6. No you do not need place cards, if this crowd knows each other, but if they are virtually strangers, then place cards are a good idea. An even better idea is to have someone at each table that is assigned as a sort of “host” that gets the conversation going and makes sure introductions are made.
7. Keep the bar small, holding the drinking to a minimum. You want to make sure that everyone shows up in good shape for the wedding the next day. We heard of one couple that handed out goodie bags of aspirin, mints, stomach medicine and emergency numbers including a pharmacy and taxis. You want your bases covered.
8. Rehearsal dinners are the perfect time to have all those toasts that you don’t want done at the wedding. There should never be more than two toasts done at a wedding. Guests get bored quickly. Long photo montages have their place at the rehearsal dinner, not during the reception.
9. A nice touch is to have a card on each table listing the important names of the evening: Susan James, mother of the groom, Ellen James, grandmother of the groom. I also like cute little name badges for these people to wear that lets someone know that the person they just met is the GMOB (grandmother of bride).
10.  Have a good time with close friends!

Casting Call

Want to be a star?  Today, I received this email looking for brides and grooms and I thought I would pass it on:

Hey there!

A new documentary series is seeking brides and grooms to be who are
anxious about their soon to be In-Laws. If you would be
willing to pass this information along to your membership and clients, I
would really appreciate it. It is a fun show aimed at bringing
people closer together. It will be airing on a major cable
network this spring. Every family chosen to participate will be
generously compensated. We are looking for families full of big personalities who are dealing with issues which range from serious to silly!

Please pass along my contact information as I would be happy to field questions.

Many thanks!
Amy Cummings
Amy.cummings@LeftfieldPictures.com
212 564 2607 ex:2339

This is the company that produces Pawns Stars and Bridal Bootcamp among other reality shows.

David Tutera at Sears?

Tutera's new line of engagment rings available at Sears

For all you David Tutera (of My Fair Wedding fame) fans out there, he now has an engagement ring line at of all places Sears.  Yes, you read that right, Sears.  He has partnered with Sears to create a collection of engagement rings for any bride.  He as designed four looks for his collection.  They are called Eternal, Heirloom, Legacy and Radiance.  You can learn more about David’s collection here.