Wedding Etiquette

Let’s talk about wedding etiquette. Last time I counted that was not a four letter word. But it seems to most brides today it is. If one more bride tells me I don’t want a stuffy old “etiquette” ruled wedding, I may just throw Emily Post’s book right at them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the casual wedding as well as the formal wedding, but even casual weddings need to follow certain rules.

Etiquette is not there to make your life miserable; it is there to give guidelines to the event to make it run smoothly. Why else do you think these rules would have survived all these years? People know these rules, understand them, and expect them. When you move away from them it results in confusion and confused guests do not equal an exceptional wedding.

For example, take the bride who feels she doesn’t need groomsmen or ushers to seat her guests, “they can seat themselves”. Ok, do you think this bride is going to be happy when she starts down the aisle and all the guests are seated on the groom’s side, because they seated themselves? In this case, where the groom has a huge in town family and the bride doesn’t, we can let the rule of the bride and groom side slide a little and use the groomsmen to seat people evenly on both sides.

Or take the bride that says her mother does not need to be escorted down the aisle. Ok, fine the director is in the back and she can tell the mother when to walk in, but what about when to return down the aisle, she may not remember in the excitement when she is suppose to walk out. With no extra arm there to support her, she may slip walking out (especially if it is an outdoor ceremony). Ushers (or groomsmen) are there for a reason.

I agree some rules can slide, the bride or groom’s side, vellum in the invitation, inside envelopes, and receiving lines. All these had a reason in their day, which no longer apply in today’s world. But other rules still hold true. If it will help your wedding to run smoothly, relax and go with it. A little etiquette never hurt anyone.