One of my assistants was a guest at an out of town wedding this weekend, which did not have a planner. She witnessed the outcome of one of my biggest pet peeves. Every so often I have a bride that insists that she wants her dad to escort her mother down the aisle or the groom’s mother by the groom’s father. While it seems that this would be the sweet touching way to do the escorts down the aisle, in practice it doesn’t usually work.
There is a reason for tradition and as much as I believe tradition sometimes needs to be a little shaken up, this is not one of those times. The tradition of the mothers being escorted down and back up the aisle by an usher with the husband following has a very practical reason. Let’s say you decide to set your wedding processional up without escorts. Groom’s mom walks out with dad, followed by your mother with dad. Planner or you, tells them when to go and everything works out fine right. Ok, great, now it’s time for the recessional, wedding party goes back up the aisle and then who goes next? Is your Mom and Dad in all the excitement going to remember they should rise and come back down the aisle next? Will your Groom’s mother know she is supposed to wait, what about the grandmothers? Maybe they will all remember their cues, but let me tell you, in my experience and as proven by the wedding my assistant attended, this is not usually the case.
If you have an usher or groomsmen at the back and someone sending him back down the aisle at the correct time to bring out the seated members of the processional everything goes smoothly. If you don’t plan on ushers or groomsmen escorting both in and out, you run the risk of having your planner at the top of the aisle frantically trying to get your Mom’s attention, or your Mom frantically looking around for someone to tell her when to go. Do both you and the seated members of your processional a favor and plan on having an usher or groomsmen doing the escorting both in and out, otherwise as my assistant said it just turns into one big traffic jam.
There is a reason for tradition and as much as I believe tradition sometimes needs to be a little shaken up, this is not one of those times. The tradition of the mothers being escorted down and back up the aisle by an usher with the husband following has a very practical reason. Let’s say you decide to set your wedding processional up without escorts. Groom’s mom walks out with dad, followed by your mother with dad. Planner or you, tells them when to go and everything works out fine right. Ok, great, now it’s time for the recessional, wedding party goes back up the aisle and then who goes next? Is your Mom and Dad in all the excitement going to remember they should rise and come back down the aisle next? Will your Groom’s mother know she is supposed to wait, what about the grandmothers? Maybe they will all remember their cues, but let me tell you, in my experience and as proven by the wedding my assistant attended, this is not usually the case.
If you have an usher or groomsmen at the back and someone sending him back down the aisle at the correct time to bring out the seated members of the processional everything goes smoothly. If you don’t plan on ushers or groomsmen escorting both in and out, you run the risk of having your planner at the top of the aisle frantically trying to get your Mom’s attention, or your Mom frantically looking around for someone to tell her when to go. Do both you and the seated members of your processional a favor and plan on having an usher or groomsmen doing the escorting both in and out, otherwise as my assistant said it just turns into one big traffic jam.
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