When talking about grooms and weddings, I always hear either a) He won’t help with a thing. He leaves everything on me to do. Or b) He is driving me crazy changing things after I think they are already settled. Who knew he would have such definite ideas on things.Its true most grooms start off saying “just tell me where and when to show up”, but about half way through the planning stage, they start to demand a few things done their way. And who can blame them, after all it is their day too and they are providing a big chunk of the budget in most cases. So rather than pulling your hair out or thinking this whole marriage thing is a mistake, let's talk about ways to make both of you happy.
When I first meet with a bride and groom, one of the questions I ask the groom is what parts of the planning he is interested in, what is important to him. Almost always the answer is food, liquor and music. So let him be involved in these items, let him help with the menu, choose cake flavors (the men love that cake tasting), chose the beer offering (do you really care what beer he picks) and let him be in charge or help with the interviewing of the DJ or band. Men are great at making the “play” and “do not play” list. Hours of listening to songs on the computer is usually something they enjoy.
Give him things to accomplish; most men don’t want to spend hours talking about flower colors or picturing wedding decorations in their heads. Give them a written list of the things they need to accomplish that they are interested in and let them run with it. Don’t go to them about every little detail. Unless your man is very different than most, talking to him about wedding colors or bridesmaid’s dresses is not going to make either of you happy. Giving him a concise set of objectives will help take stress off of you and give him a part in the planning one of the most special events in both of your lives.
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