Why We Have Ushers or Groomsmen Do The Escorting

One of my assistants was a guest at an out of town wedding this weekend, which did not have a planner. She witnessed the outcome of one of my biggest pet peeves. Every so often I have a bride that insists that she wants her dad to escort her mother down the aisle or the groom’s mother by the groom’s father. While it seems that this would be the sweet touching way to do the escorts down the aisle, in practice it doesn’t usually work.

There is a reason for tradition and as much as I believe tradition sometimes needs to be a little shaken up, this is not one of those times. The tradition of the mothers being escorted down and back up the aisle by an usher with the husband following has a very practical reason. Let’s say you decide to set your wedding processional up without escorts. Groom’s mom walks out with dad, followed by your mother with dad. Planner or you, tells them when to go and everything works out fine right. Ok, great, now it’s time for the recessional, wedding party goes back up the aisle and then who goes next? Is your Mom and Dad in all the excitement going to remember they should rise and come back down the aisle next? Will your Groom’s mother know she is supposed to wait, what about the grandmothers? Maybe they will all remember their cues, but let me tell you, in my experience and as proven by the wedding my assistant attended, this is not usually the case.

If you have an usher or groomsmen at the back and someone sending him back down the aisle at the correct time to bring out the seated members of the processional everything goes smoothly. If you don’t plan on ushers or groomsmen escorting both in and out, you run the risk of having your planner at the top of the aisle frantically trying to get your Mom’s attention, or your Mom frantically looking around for someone to tell her when to go. Do both you and the seated members of your processional a favor and plan on having an usher or groomsmen doing the escorting both in and out, otherwise as my assistant said it just turns into one big traffic jam.

Help The Groom is Driving Me Crazy

When talking about grooms and weddings, I always hear either a) He won’t help with a thing. He leaves everything on me to do. Or b) He is driving me crazy changing things after I think they are already settled. Who knew he would have such definite ideas on things.

Its true most grooms start off saying “just tell me where and when to show up”, but about half way through the planning stage, they start to demand a few things done their way. And who can blame them, after all it is their day too and they are providing a big chunk of the budget in most cases. So rather than pulling your hair out or thinking this whole marriage thing is a mistake, let's talk about ways to make both of you happy.

When I first meet with a bride and groom, one of the questions I ask the groom is what parts of the planning he is interested in, what is important to him. Almost always the answer is food, liquor and music. So let him be involved in these items, let him help with the menu, choose cake flavors (the men love that cake tasting), chose the beer offering (do you really care what beer he picks) and let him be in charge or help with the interviewing of the DJ or band. Men are great at making the “play” and “do not play” list. Hours of listening to songs on the computer is usually something they enjoy.

Give him things to accomplish; most men don’t want to spend hours talking about flower colors or picturing wedding decorations in their heads. Give them a written list of the things they need to accomplish that they are interested in and let them run with it. Don’t go to them about every little detail. Unless your man is very different than most, talking to him about wedding colors or bridesmaid’s dresses is not going to make either of you happy. Giving him a concise set of objectives will help take stress off of you and give him a part in the planning one of the most special events in both of your lives.

The Ceremony/Reception Gap

My nephew is getting married and my sister called yesterday to discuss what I thought about gaps between the wedding and reception. I know this is a big problem with Catholic weddings especially, since brides have to get married earlier in the day due to mass times and then have to wait till the evening for their reception, if they want a night time reception. There are several things that happen when you have a large gap (we’re talking several hours here) between the wedding and the reception.

The good news is there will be plenty of time for pictures at a different location for the bridal party. There will be an opportunity for guests who are staying in a nearby hotel to go back and rest up.

The bad news is many of your guests will only attend one of the events. Most will skip the wedding and come only to the reception. People do not want to dress for a wedding, then after the wedding sit around dressed up with nothing to do and wait for a reception. Keep in mind some of your guests will have a hotel room or home to return to and wait, but what about those guests that have driven in from a neighboring town or city and do not have somewhere to go back to and wait. What are they suppose to do?

You can help avoid this by having an activity planned for your guests during that in between time. Have an informal gathering of guests in a hotel suite or at a friend’s home. If you are in a destination city, maybe rent a tour bus to pick guests up and tour them around town. For an inexpensive idea, supply guests with a map of interesting locations in the area, including things to see, places to eat or get something to drink. Don’t just leave your guests floundering with nothing to do.

This is your day, but if you want your day to turn out perfect remember happy guests are what will make it that way.

Barn There Done That!

Ok, I just have to brag a little bit. I was hired to do a rehearsal dinner for a young bride and groom. They wanted the dinner in this barn (see before pictures). We used the Dutch Barn in Greer, SC. It is a big old barn, very rough, but rented often for parties. As you can see by the before pictures, it was a lot of work getting it ready. Willrich Bridal, Dave McMillan, the florist, and Shane of Good Life Catering worked all day the day before, cleaning and setting up.

For those of you that think being a wedding planner is all romantic and beautiful, let me clue you, it’s not. I was on my hands and knees cleaning toilets, scrubbing sinks and even sweeping out snake skins (gross!) My team was also standing outside parking cars in the freezing cold during the actual event. I never saw JLo do that.

On the actual day of the event we started early again, putting all the flowers in place. It was a lot of hard work but it turned out wonderful. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about how great it looked. Good Life Catering created a “shabby chic” BBQ for 150 people that was just delicious. We had one of the top blue grass bands in the nation Steep Canyon Rangers (unbelievably great!!) as the entertainment. The groom is a big banjo player and he got to play with them, he was beyond thrilled. We had a huge banjo cake as the groom’s cake provided by Kathy And Company.

I was really proud of how it all turned out and the bridal couple was really happy and that’s what counts.

What Makes Willrich Bridal Great?

People ask me all the time, what sets Willrich Bridal apart from other wedding planners, what makes us so special. I would have to say, it is my team. I have a wonderful team that comes to each wedding and helps handle all the details. As one minister told me, most wedding planners consisted of one nervous lady with a clipboard. Well not Willrich.

We have a team of usually five that will work your wedding. Each person has their own specialty that they are in charge of at the wedding. Things like packing the car, pinning on boutonnières, the timeline, lining the processional up, setting up the reception site, decorating the bridal suite. Having worked so many weddings together, at this point we are like the proverbial well oiled machine.

I can’t imagine trying to do a wedding on my own, without a team. There is no way, one or two people can be everywhere you need someone on your wedding day. To paraphrase a famous quote “It takes a team to raise a wedding”.

Do I Really Need A Video?

Ok, my brides all know I’m all about saving money where you can, but I do have a few places that I strongly advise against saving money. One of the main ones is saving money by doing without a video. For some reason brides and grooms always leave the decision for a video to the very end. “I have pictures, why do I need a video” is something I hear a lot. Now let me get up on my soapbox and I will tell you why. There are two very important reasons.

Number One – How much would you love to be able to watch your Great Grandmother and Great Grandfather getting married? Actually hear their voices, see their parents, family and friends, all those people that passed away years ago. You’d really like that right. Well so will your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. A video is a movie of their past that they can see and hear. This will be one of the few times that all your family will be together at one time, why let that chance at a family record, slip away.

Number Two – Guess who is going to be the person that sees the least of what happens at your wedding. It’s going to be you, the bride. You won’t see guests coming in, you won’t see your handsome groom getting ready with the guys, you won’t see the processional or the cocktail hour and you’ll be to nervous and excited to remember much of what you do see. After all these months you have spent on making this the perfect event, you my dear will see very little of it. Don’t lose the chance to see your mother’s tears of joy or bestman’s goofy little dance.

With all the videographers out there today, there is someone for every budget. Even if you have to use a family member (which I recommend only as a last resort) get the video. I promise you will thank me for it.

Thumb Tuckers , The End of the Strapless Dress

Someone asked me the other day, what is the biggest change I see coming for weddings in 2008. I would have to say one of the biggest is we are finally seeing a shift away from the strapless gown and moving toward dresses with straps, necklines or even (gasp) sleeves.

Frankly, I love the strapless dresses (wore one myself) on the right person. But too many times I’m seen them on girls that should not be wearing them. My group has a name for strapless dresses. We call them the “thumb tuckers”. I know you have seen them, brides or bridesmaids that walk around the whole night with their thumbs tucked into the top of their strapless dress pulling them up. A lot of the time, strapless dresses are just not comfortable when you start moving around at the reception. And let’s not forget the girls that wear them with obvious tan lines showing, incorrect undergarments (bra’s showing in the back) and the notorious “back fat” problem.

So considering the “thumb tuckers” status and the fact that strapless is all we’ve seen for several years now, I’m excited to see wedding dresses moving in a new direction. Just look at these beautiful Badgley Mischka examples. Who wouldn't love this look?