The Cocktail Hour

We talked earlier about the new trend of the Pre-ceremony cocktail hour. Now let’s talk about the original cocktail hour before the reception plan. I was asked recently if this hour was necessary. A bride had a friend tell her she had attended a reception that had no cocktail hour, the guests just went straight in and started eating and everything went just fine. She wanted to know my opinion.

Of course you can do a reception this way. Weddings in the South were done this way for generations. But is it necessarily the best plan for you or your guests. Pacing the reception is what makes the difference between just another reception and a great reception. The cocktail hour is part of that pacing. It allows for smooth transition from one part of your wedding to the next.

First of all when I say cocktail hour, I am talking about the hour before the reception starts where guests mingle, snack on appetizers and wait on the wedding couple to arrive. It does not necessarily have to involve any alcohol at all. We have done many non-alcohol cocktail hours. Flavored waters, tea, lemonade, punch can all be served either bar or butlered style.

From a guest point of view not having a cocktail hour or half hour may appear fine. They go in, no waiting, they eat and then they wait on the bride and groom to arrive and the party to start or they leave. But let’s look at it from the bride’s and brides mother’s point of view.

Without a cocktail hour, your photos will have to be VERY rushed. You will be looking at, at the least, 30 to 45 minutes that your guests will be in the reception area eating before you even get there. This means several things. 1) The bride will not get to see the reception she worked so hard to plan before the guests have littered it with dirty plates, moved chairs around, eaten most of the food, etc. 2) All the excitement of the guests first walking into the room, being awed by the flowers, etc and then the bride and groom being announced in, won’t be there. 3) Since the guests will have 45 minutes or more to eat, they will be finished or nearly finished eating by the time the bride arrives. If your buffet is not being replenished for at least two hours or more (and why you would chose a site that doesn’t do this is beyond me) you could run the risk of a lot of food being gone before the bridal party even shows up.

If the bride and groom take time to eat, some of the guests will be bored and leave since they have long finished eating. The guests will be eager to talk to the bride and groom allowing them no time to eat. The cake will have to be cut almost immediately when the bride and groom enter the room, as the guests are ready for dessert. A lot of guests will leave as soon as the cake is cut. Family dances will need to be rushed so the dance floor can be opened, if you don't I promise your guests will leave.

This moves up the whole schedule for the reception, cutting it a lot shorter than it should be. As I mentioned before the pacing is suddenly not smooth. Also, a big thing for a lot of couples is that there will be no blessing over the food, since the entire wedding party will be taking pictures at the time the dinner begins.

Remember no cocktail hour allows no time for the photographer to get there and take pictures before the area is littered with plates and half eaten food. Also, guests don’t want pictures taken of them eating, so his chance of good candid shots is cut way down.

Unless you are having a huge crowd and there just is not room, for the small expense involved and the high visual and elegance impact, I can’t see any reason for not having a cocktail hour.

Just something to think about.