The Wedding Shower

Once the proposal is accepted and the engagement announced you are firmly seated on the “Party Train”. Suddenly you will be faced with all kinds of questions regarding parties. Who should throw them, how involved can you be, how many or how few should you have and even more important who should you invite. Once again our old friend “tradition” steps in to help you conduct the train and avoid jumping the track.

It used to be that showers were attended by the bride’s female friends with the purpose of “showering” her with all the items she would need for her new marriage. In today’s time, not that many people start off married life with nothing, so showers have taken on themes to help get the new couple just those items they are lacking. You can have kitchen showers, lingerie showers, and “honey do” showers. The list goes on and one. Also, no longer are showers held for just the ladies, now days it is just as popular to have a couples shower.

Other traditional rules have not changed much. Showers are usually held 3 to 6 weeks before the wedding. They are given by close friends or the wedding party. Since showers are parties where gifts are basically required, it is considered improper for the bride herself or her mother or future mother in law to host the party. It would not look good for a mother to give a party that requires a gift for her daughter, just a little too greedy sounding for tradition to be ok with.

Since gifts are required at showers no one should be invited that will not be attending the wedding. The only exception to this rule is the office shower. People in your office probably do not expect to be invited to your wedding (most know no one can afford to invite everyone they work with). In this case, it is ok to have a co worker plan one for you with an open invitation to everyone you work with.

So who should be on the shower guest list? Guest list are often made up of the bride’s close family and friends. No one (except the actual wedding party) should be invited to more than two showers. More than that and you are beginning to look like a greedy financial burden on your guests. Even the wedding party should not be expected to bring gifts to more than two showers. Make sure they understand they are welcome to come to more, but you do not expect a gift.

Typical Food Set Up at a Shower

Showers normally consist of light food, drinks and maybe a party game. There are dozen of different games that can be played at a shower if you are inclined. A quick search of the internet will turn up lots of choices.

The only traditional rule for what must occur is the opening of presents. Sometime during the event, you need to sit down surrounded by your gifts, start opening and then passing the gifts to all the guests for the ooh’s and ah’s of their approval. Remember to have someone seated nearby writing down each gift and who the giver was. This is for those thank you’s that need to written and mailed within two weeks.