Next to deciding who to marry, your biggest decision will be who to have in your bridal party. Seems like a no brainer right? Wrong, as a wedding planner, I have seen over and over the havoc an errant bridesmaid or groomsman can cause at a wedding.
Brides spend hours worrying about the right way to ask someone to be in their wedding. Finding just the right card or wording just the right poem or letter to ask a friend to be in your wedding takes a lot of thought. Maybe you should be spending the hours worrying about who is the right person for your wedding. Ideally, you want to choose your sisters, his sisters and your best friends. Notice I say ideally. There are questions you need to ask yourself and the girls before any decisions are made.
Ask yourself, what do I expect of a bridesmaid? Can this person easily fulfill what I want? First question should be…can they afford to be in the wedding? This is a biggie. Being a bridesmaid is not cheap. There are dresses and shoes to buy, showers to both give and attend, transportation to get to the wedding, lodging, makeup, hair, the list goes on and on. Think about the circumstances of the bridesmaid. Is she strapped for cash, going to school, planning her own wedding? Unless you plan to help with expenses, think before you ask. If you do ask, warn her about the expenses involved in what you plan and don’t be offended if she turns you down. Best plan is to offer an out when you ask. “I would love for you to be a bridesmaid, but if you would rather do something else in the wedding, I will totally understand.” Remember everyone has financial obligations and being in your wedding has probably not been budgeted into them.
Ask yourself will this person be excited to be in my wedding? Will they be willing to help with some of the tasks that might need to be done? Now, I’m not saying they are signing up to be wedding slaves, don’t become one of those brides. Will they be on time and I’m not talking about just the wedding day? Will they be on time placing their order for their dresses; will they be on time for fittings? Will they be on time making payments? Nothing causes a bigger headache for a bride, than trying to round up the bridesmaids to get their dress orders or payments in.
If you know your best friend is really not into weddings, never on time and constantly gripes about everything, I hate to say it, but she may not be the best choice for a bridesmaid. Discuss it with her, let her know what you will expect and give her an out she can take if she really prefers to be a guest and not a bridesmaid. You will be happier and so will she.
Brides spend hours worrying about the right way to ask someone to be in their wedding. Finding just the right card or wording just the right poem or letter to ask a friend to be in your wedding takes a lot of thought. Maybe you should be spending the hours worrying about who is the right person for your wedding. Ideally, you want to choose your sisters, his sisters and your best friends. Notice I say ideally. There are questions you need to ask yourself and the girls before any decisions are made.
Ask yourself, what do I expect of a bridesmaid? Can this person easily fulfill what I want? First question should be…can they afford to be in the wedding? This is a biggie. Being a bridesmaid is not cheap. There are dresses and shoes to buy, showers to both give and attend, transportation to get to the wedding, lodging, makeup, hair, the list goes on and on. Think about the circumstances of the bridesmaid. Is she strapped for cash, going to school, planning her own wedding? Unless you plan to help with expenses, think before you ask. If you do ask, warn her about the expenses involved in what you plan and don’t be offended if she turns you down. Best plan is to offer an out when you ask. “I would love for you to be a bridesmaid, but if you would rather do something else in the wedding, I will totally understand.” Remember everyone has financial obligations and being in your wedding has probably not been budgeted into them.
Ask yourself will this person be excited to be in my wedding? Will they be willing to help with some of the tasks that might need to be done? Now, I’m not saying they are signing up to be wedding slaves, don’t become one of those brides. Will they be on time and I’m not talking about just the wedding day? Will they be on time placing their order for their dresses; will they be on time for fittings? Will they be on time making payments? Nothing causes a bigger headache for a bride, than trying to round up the bridesmaids to get their dress orders or payments in.
If you know your best friend is really not into weddings, never on time and constantly gripes about everything, I hate to say it, but she may not be the best choice for a bridesmaid. Discuss it with her, let her know what you will expect and give her an out she can take if she really prefers to be a guest and not a bridesmaid. You will be happier and so will she.
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