Next to the “Yes” at the proposal, what word do you think is most important for a happy wedding? I can tell you without a doubt, that word is compromise. This is especially true when talking about the money for your wedding. Traditionally there are very rigid guidelines, hundred of years old deciding who pays for what. Believe me, there are reasons for tradition, mostly to guide you through a mine field of obstacles with the least damage. It’s hard for a parent to argue with you when you play the “traditionally” card.
But let’s say you are a non traditional kind of couple, nothing wrong with that. Lot’s of couple now days pay for their own weddings. Or it is a joint budget from his parents, her parents and the couple themselves that is going to pay for this wedding. Best case scenario, the parents just hand you big checks and let you make all the decisions about how the money is spent. Not, likely to happen, but great if it does.
More likely, the parents are going to volunteer to pay for certain areas of the wedding and with this come strings attached. They have their own thoughts and dreams about how this wedding should look. This is where the idea of compromise comes into play. Let’s say you have very definite ideas on the wedding dress you want. There is no room for compromise on that subject. Fine, then you pay for the dress and all the decisions are yours. Maybe you are not really that into invitations, but your future mother-in-law can’t stop talking about them. Fine, then let her put her money, and her say so into the invitations. She’s happy, you’re happy and we have a happy wedding. Maybe your Mom is all about the photography and all you care is that there are pictures recording the day. Same thing goes, let her involvement and her money revolve around the photography for the day. The important thing is that everyone comes away feeling that not only was their wallet used for the wedding, but so were their ideas and dreams. Compromise, it’s a wonderful thing.
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