Tuesday, October 30, 2012

What Makes a Wedding Guest Happy


 
I watched another session of Four Weddings.  The show overall is terrible; asking brides to judge each other’s weddings is just wrong.  But it is interesting to see the things they dislike as guests at weddings.  Some things are ridiculous, such as the church service was too long or too short.  That is not up to the bride or something she can, in most instances, have any say in at all.  It is after all a religious ceremony decided on by the church.
I have also noticed that almost every time, the bride that spends the most on her wedding wins.  Money may not buy happiness, but it does buy drinks, good entertainment and good food, all very important to wedding guests.  Want to make sure your wedding doesn’t win; then have a cash bar.
So what causes a wedding to not be a favorite with guests:

A cash bar
Lack of food choices, cold food or bad food.
Lack of décor and under this comes using fake flowers.  The guests will notice, pure and simple.
Lack of seating, no matter what you think guests do not want to stand for any period of time.

Rooms that are too tight. Too many guests crammed into a room does not make for a pleasant time.

Outdoor weddings that are too hot, too cold or too buggy.  Beautiful setting does not make up for uncomfortable guests.

Guests like a wedding to look like a wedding, not a dinner, and not a cocktail party.  They come to a wedding and they want to see a wedding.  They are looking for something special.

Long speeches or lots of speeches.  Two is ok, more are not.  Guests don’t really care.  Have them at the rehearsal dinner where it is just family that does care.
Don’t split the event between rooms. Cake in one area, dinner in another, dancing another, guests spread out in different rooms.  Doesn’t work, guests in outer rooms away from the wedding couple feel like lesser friends.  Not good.

So even though I don’t really approve of the show, it does teach the occasional good lesson.  So what would you like to add to the list?  What makes you happy or unhappy as a wedding guest?

2 comments:

Brenda M. Owen - Wedding Officiant & Minister said...

Susan, I always enjoy reading your blog and once again, you are 'right on'. Guests do expect a wedding to be special & it does not have to be a big, elaborate, expensive event. A BBQ hoedown is fun, too!
To your 'not a fave' with the guests list I would add not to keep them waiting for a long period of time while the couple wraps up photos after the ceremony (45 minutes is a good rule of thumb).
Also, Music - it should fit the mood of the moment; a wedding shouldn't resemble a frat party. Club-level volume during the reception will frustrate older family members and make it impossible for your guests to talk to one another.
Soft ballads during the cocktail hour and dinner so guests can chat. Then transition into the dance party with whatever suits you.
Save the really loud, punk songs for when the older guests start to depart - which will be early :)
Another great post Susan, thank you! Brenda M. Owen - Wedding Officiant & Minister ~ http://WeddingWoman.net

Unknown said...

Great points. I hear a lot of complaints from people when there is no order to the reception. People walking around during the couples first dance, or when speeches are being given are a dead "No-No". Makes guest confused and irritable when a lot of commotion is going on.

www.TailorMadeAffairs.com

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