When Do I Mail My Invitations?

One of the questions I hear from every bride is “When do I mail my invitations”? There is a pretty easy formula that I like to follow. Start with the date that your head count is due back to your reception site. From that date, count back two weeks. This is the date when your RSVP will be due back to you. (A two week span will allow you plenty of time to call all those guests, which for some reason, have no idea how to mail an RSVP back.) Count backwards another six weeks and this is when you mail out your invitations. If you are mailing some of your invitations out of the country count back another two weeks and mail them on that date.

Remember, if you are sending out save the dates, they need to be in the mail a year to six months before your wedding date.

Two New Creative Ideas

Being a wedding planner, wedding vendors are always emailing me or mailing me about their business. Yesterday, I happen to receive two really cute ideas that I thought I would pass along to you. Now, I have not personally used these vendors yet, but I did think the ideas were really special.

First was Here Comes Your Bride, http://www.herecomesyourbride.com/ . So many brides have asked me what to do when they have more than one ring bearer or flower girl. Well here's a great idea. Let them carry a banner, down the aisle before you. Of course everyone "knows" the bride is coming, but it's such an adorable look and a good way to keep the children focused and get them down the aisle.

I also received information on Micheles Collection, http://www.michelescollection.com/ . I am in love with this idea. What a cute way to make those boring white napkins something really special and add such a decorative touch to the table.

Now like I said, I have not used either of these companies, so as of yet I can't fully recommend them, but I do love the creative ideas.

Joy and Darryl's Wedding

We helped plan a beautiful wedding this weekend. It was at Twigs, which is a nice site to having a small wedding and reception. If you are looking for that outdoor feel but with the added benefits of it being covered and heated or cooled (with fans) be sure to check it out. You do have to use their caterer and florist, but everything including one large arrangement, centerpieces and overlays for the tables is included.

The bride and groom, Joy and Darryl were a lot of fun to work with and both their families were really sweet. Her color choices of white and lavender made for a beautiful wedding. Lavender is such a good color for all skin tones. Favors were coloring books for the children and favor boxes filled with monogrammed M&M’s and Hershey kisses. It all turned out perfect.

Secrets to Registering For Your Wedding

Bridal Registering started over 50 years ago as a convenience for both the wedding couple and their guests, not to mention a boon to the department stores. Last year alone the wedding gift industry had over $17 billion dollars in sales. These days you can register at department stores, discount stores, specialty stores and online.
Even hardware stores now have bridal registries. There are also travel agents and online sites where you can register for your honeymoon. Guests can put money toward the cost of your honeymoon.

So what should you know before picking a registry? One of the first questions you need to ask is “are these items in stock?” Nothing is worse than registering for china, just to find out that the store does not keep the item in stock, it will have to be back ordered and you’ll have to wait months to receive your gift. Remember guests want to have an actual present to give you at your showers, not just an IOU from the store.

Your next question should be “is this a seasonal item”? Remember, if you register for a seasonal item, it may not be available closer to your wedding date. You will constantly have to update your registry and trying to return items that have been marked down can be a nightmare.

Speaking of updating your registry, remember to keep a check on them. Even though the stores should update purchased items automatically this doesn’t always happen. If you’re not careful you can end up with 4 toasters and 3 waffle irons.

Also, ask how long your registry will stay on the store’s computer. Many guests give presents after the wedding is over, or use the registry for Christmas, anniversary or birthday gifts.

Find out if the store has a discount completion program which lets you purchase items not received as gifts at a discount after your wedding.

When choosing where to register, pick several different stores with different price ranges. This will really help your guests find something in their price range and geographic area. To make things easier for you, remember to check each stores’ return policies. Some have very good ones and some are just awful. Ask questions like, “Do I have to make an appointment to do returns?” Do I get cash back or store credit?”

Remember to compare prices when you register as prices on the same items can vary widely from store to store. Deciding what items to place on your registry can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn’t need to be. The salespeople in the bridal departments of major stores are well versed in helping you choose patterns, the number of items needed, and price range guidelines.

When you go in to register there will be a few things you will need to know; wedding date, address gifts should be delivered to, and an idea of what you want to register for. Know what basic appliances you will need. Have ideas on whether you want formal china and silverware or a more casual style. This will depend on your lifestyle. Discuss colors with your fiancée. Remember to call ahead and make an appointment with the bridal consultant so planning your registry is not rushed. Even though your fiancée may not look forward to accompanying you, I haven’t met one yet that did not enjoy using the hand held scanner to scan items for your registry.

Now for the most important information….do not put your registry information in your invitation. It is very bad etiquette because this implies a gift is expected. Let your attendants, family, and close friends spread the word to your guests.

Tooting My Own Horn

Forgive me, but I just have to “toot my own horn” as they say. I was just informed yesterday that I have been elected to the 2007 Executive Committee of the Upstate Bridal Association or UBA as it is know in the industry. I am very honored and look forward to a year of working with other top notch wedding experts to help make the upstate an even better place to plan your wedding.

For those of you that have not heard of the Upstate Bridal Association http://www.upstatebridalassociation.com/, let me quote from the website…

“Great weddings are all about hiring the right people. And the Upstate Bridal Association will help you do just that.

Our Member businesses are run by people who know that their reputation is on the line with every wedding, including yours. They are a respected, diverse group of quality-oriented companies. Each provides a service to the newly engaged. And each has been approved for membership by our Executive Committee. Central to the Upstate Bridal Association is our Code of Ethics, which every Member has signed.

The Code requires that each Member pledge himself to honesty and integrity, to an understanding of his client's needs, and to comply with the standards of the Association. Each Member pledges not to betray the trust that brides place in him for his knowledge, experience & recommendations.

In what can be a stressful time, doing business with Upstate Bridal Association members gives a bride some peace of mind: she is choosing businesses she can count on to make her event all she dreams it will be.”

If you haven’t checked out the website, make sure you do. It is a great place to look for the vendors you need to make your wedding special.

Wedding Superstitions and Customs

Weddings today are filled with superstitions and customs that have become traditions over the years. Take for example the engagement ring. Originally a betrothal ring, it was a partial payment for the bride. The diamond first became the ring of choice in medieval Italy. It was chosen because of its hardness representing enduring love.

Ever wonder where the term “spooning” came from. In Wales a man would carve a wooden spoon for his sweetheart to hang around her neck as a sign of engagement, hence the term “spooning”.

The bridal shower got its beginnings with a wonderful legend from Holland when a young girl fell in love with a poor miller. The girl’s father did not approve so he refused to provide a dowry. But the young couple’s friends decided to shower her with gifts so that she would have the dowry she needed.

The phrase “tying the knot” comes from a Babylonian custom where the threads of the clothes of the bride and groom were tied together in a knot to symbolize the union.

Why is the wedding ring worn on the third finger of the left hand? Ancient people believed that the vein in that finger ran directly to the heart.

Brides wear veils because in ancient cultures it hid them from evil spirits. It also symbolizes youth and virginity. Lace veils became popular in America when President Washington’s aide, Major Lawrence Lewis, saw his bride through a lace curtain and commented on how beautiful she looked. She decided to cover her face with lace for the wedding.

Why do wedding attendants dress alike? Originally the bride and attendants all dressed alike. It was done to confuse evil spirits that might lurk at the wedding, rejected suitors that might wish to kidnap the bride or anyone wanting to put a curse on the bride or groom.

Why does the bride stand on the left of the groom? This is to leave his right hand free to draw his sword to defend her from kidnappings.

Where did the white aisle runner get its start? In ancient times the bride’s feet were not to touch the ground to avoid the evil spirits that lurked underneath. The same evil spirits are the reason that the bride is carried over the threshold of her new home. This way they could not enter her through the soles of her feet.

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a six pence in her shoe” a wedding poem everyone knows that comes from an Old English rhyme. This stands for continuity, optimism for the future, borrowed happiness, fidelity and good fortune.

“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” This statement comes from the fact that the bride in ancient times was literally given to the groom in an arranged marriage.

Why does the ceremony end with a kiss? In ancient times the kiss was a way to seal a legal contract.

Where did the wedding cake originate? In Roman times a small bun was broken over the couple representing good luck and fertility. In the Middle ages this turned to kissing over a small pile of cakes brought by the guests. In the 17th century a French baker frosted the stack of buns so that they would stand together - and the first wedding cake was invented.

What about wedding favors? In the past guests considered the bride lucky and would tear off pieces of her clothes or flowers to share in the luck. To save her clothes and flowers brides began offering small favors to the guests. This is also how the bouquet toss started. She would toss her flowers to a friend for the luck and protection it would provide them. The same idea gave birth to the garter toss. To save it from being torn off, the bride would remove it and throw it to the crowd.
As you can see, nearly everything about a wedding comes from centuries of tradition.

Russian or French? (And We Are Not Talking Salad Dressing)

Today let's talk about some terms you might not know, but need to understand when meeting with your caterer or reception site. When talking with the site about various ways you may have your reception dinner served, the terms Plated, Russian, or French may come up. Plated service means full plates of food are carried directly from the kitchen to the guests. Russian service means that guest’s plates are left on the table while the food is brought to them on large platters by multiple servers. French service refers to two waiters at a side table or rolling cart. One places the food on the plate, while the other serves.
There are also many types of receptions. Each type serves its own purpose. There is the sit down dinner, where guests are seated and the food is brought to them. The sit down dinner is usually considered more formal. Buffet service while less formal than the sit down dinner is faster and therefore better for large weddings. At buffet receptions, guest stand in line at tables of attractively arranged food and serve themselves. This type reception does not require a wait staff but does require more food to be prepared since portions are not controlled. A staff will be required to watch the food and replace any that runs low.
Semi-buffet is when the table is set with plates, glasses and flatware. The wait staff serves drinks only, the guest pick up their food at the buffet table.
Food stations are another option related to the buffet. Manned food stations are set up around the room. Popular stations include pasta, carving (selections of meats), and skewers (vegetables, meats and seafood). Food stations allow guests to get the food they want prepared hot and fresh by professionals. Breads, salads, and fruits are placed on tables for guests to serve themselves.
Other choices include simple receptions, the cake and punch reception, the dessert reception, champagne reception, cocktail reception with hors d’oeuvres served butler style, and the tea reception.
By understanding these terms you will be better able to decide what you need to make your wedding perfect.