Working With Your Planner

Several brides have asked “what is the best way to work with my planner?” Planners walk a fine line between trying to please the bride and making sure everything is accomplished that needs to be.
We are there to do as much or as little as you want and need, but the bride has to let us know what she needs.

Some brides want the planner involved in everything; others prefer to handle more by themselves. Remember first and foremost the key is good communication. Keep your planner informed of your plans and the changes you make in these plans as you move ahead.

Let her know your wants and needs. We are here to make your wedding unfold the way you want it to. But, unless we know what you want this is not possible. Be specific about your desires so your wedding planner can find the products and services that will best fit your needs. Collect magazine clippings, surf the web, visit stores to get some ideas. Your wedding planner is there to please you, but she's not a mind reader.

Your planner will let you know what needs to be accomplished by what date. Try your best to make some time available to schedule appointments, so that these tasks can be completed. Let the planner know when you will be available to set up appointments. If you are not going to have the time, have the planner handle the task for you. Try to be on time for these appointments, when you are late it affects the schedules of the planner, the vendor and yourself.

Next, when you sign contracts without the planner, make sure you retain a copy of these contracts for your planner. This way she knows that the florist promised 15 boutonnières and she can make sure all 15 were delivered.

Remember that your wedding planner is probably working on more than just your wedding. If you're planning your wedding one year in advance and you already have the most important details ironed out, give a little breathing room to your planner so she can focus on her upcoming events. You'll want the same courtesy extended to you when your wedding is getting close and you need your planner's attention!

If you are a full package bride, remember that your planner is dealing with your vendors, so contact your planner before contacting the vendor. The planner may already know the answer to your question. Most vendors understand that when a planner is involved they should go through the planner not straight to the bride.

One other important note, if there are tensions in your family over issues that may affect the wedding let the planner know! On the day of the rehearsal and the wedding emotions run high. We need to know how to gauge everyone.

Most important, remember it is your wedding; don’t be afraid to voice your opinion. If you don’t like something or feel it is too expensive, say so. The planner is there to do her best to make your dream come true.

Why Do I Need A Planner?

I’m sure one of the questions you are asking yourself right now is “why do I need a planner”? “Can’t I do it myself”? Well of course you probably could. After all it is not rocket science, but according to Modern Bride over 50 percent of couples do hire a planner. To decide, ask yourself these questions…

1) Do you find the thought of planning a wedding overwhelming? People seek professional advice in every other aspect of their lives. You hire doctors, lawyers, accountants, even your car mechanic to handle areas of your life, why should the most important day of your life be any different? Find an expert to work for you. My suggestion is to hire only a planner that does planning full time. Would you hire a part time doctor? You want your planner available to meet on your schedule and your vendors’ schedule.

2) Do you know which vendors in town fit into your budget, are available, can produce your dream and are trust worthy? Which vendors work well together and which don’t?

3) Do you know what you need in your timeline, how to set up a timeline and how to be sure that it works for your vendors?

4) Do you know what information should be in a contract? What questions to ask before signing the contract? What hidden costs to look for?

5) Do you have the time to do all the legwork and telephone work involved in setting up your wedding? Remember the normal wedding takes over 200 hours of preparation time or over 12 hours a week to devote to planning.

6) Do you have the creative talent to come up with a unique and beautiful wedding on your budget?

7) Are you organized enough to follow up on all the tiny details needed to make a wedding a success?

8) Are you new to the area or have no family available to help out?

Now you ask, "but my site has an event coordinator included, why would I need a wedding planner too"? Today it seems that every site or even some photographers and DJ’s will tell you that you don’t need a planner, they can handle it or they have one available on staff for you. While these people may provide you a list of vendor referrals, they are not concerned about the details of your wedding. They are only concerned about the details as they affect their site or service. They will not help you find the perfect dress, set up your appointments with vendors, come up with detail ideas, keep track of your budget, set up and send out timelines, send you reminders and direct your wedding, bustle your dress or any of the other tasks a real planner will do. Many will have two or three weddings going on at the same time at their sites, not just yours. So there is little time for individual attention for you. Be sure to ask exactly what their responsibilities are. Many a bride has had a very nasty surprise on her wedding day.

Remember a professional wedding planner will always save you time. Only you can decide what your time, free from the stress of planning and available to enjoy the exciting fun aspects of being engaged, is worth to you.

Budget Shock

Let’s talk a little about the budget for a wedding. Brides come to me all starry eyed with plans of a Preston Bailey style wedding but when I ask the big question, “what kind of budget are we working with” I get Walmart figures. Not that there is anything wrong with Walmart, but let’s look at some budget figures so that you know what to expect going into your once in a lifetime (hopefully) event.

According to Conde Nast Bridal Infobank, publisher of Bride’s and Modern Bride magazine the national averages look like this:

Hair/makeup $357
Invitations $381
Wedding Dress $799
Wedding DJ $400 to $2000
Wedding Flowers $967
Wedding Planner $1,500 to $6,000
Wedding Photographs $1,814
Food/Drinks Venue Rental $7,360

The average wedding total cost runs about $22,300. Now remember that is an average including every type of wedding from huge movie star events to elopements and stop offs at the justice of the peace. In large areas like New York, Los Angeles or Chicago it can run as much as $500 per guest. In the Greenville area, most weddings with 100 guests on average will run between $25,000 - $30,000. But it all depends on what you want. With a lot of creativity and hard work it can run less or with over the top ideas, it can run much, much more.

This is where having a wedding planner can really help out. Not only can they (or Willrich Bridal if you choose) help you to work out a budget, they can help you find the best vendors to fit your budget. The wedding planner can also help come up with a multitude of money saving ideas to help you turn your dreams and reality into your own special event.

Breaking Wedding News

Two hot new wedding news items are out. The first is that in the current issue of Modern Bride, there is an interview with Isaac Mizrahi, who is the famous name designer for Target. He is going to design a line of simple, elegant wedding gowns that will be available from Target. The good news being that they will retail for under $160.00. As I understand it they will be available online at http://www.target.com/
Disney is also coming out with a line of bridal gowns for the princess bride. They will be loosely inspired by famous Disney characters such as Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel and Jasmine. They are being designed by the couture bridal designer Kristie Kelly at a cost of $1,100 to $3,000 each. The gowns will be available in a number of North American bridal boutiques beginning in June. Ms. Kelly stated that her designs will represent the “mood” of the princess, not a copy of the characters cartoon outfits. They will be done in ivories and champagnes with lots of beadings. The Ariel and Jasmine line will feature sexier, sleeker looks than the other princesses. So if you truly want to be a princess on your wedding day, you might want to give these gowns a look.

Alcohol – The Biggest Budget Buster - Part 2

The next question you're going to be faced with is whether you want a well bar, a call bar, top shelf, or soft bar.

The well bar – also know as standard, house or moderate is made up of generic brands of liquor that are your most economically priced. It usually includes scotch, gin, bourbon, rum, vodka, Canadian whiskey, red and white wines, beer and soft drinks. This is your cheapest alternative.

The call bar – This is your medium priced brands. It’s named a “call bar” because this is where guest can call for a particular brand for example “I’ll have an Absolut and tonic”.

The top shelf bar – Also known as the premium bar, is just that, your most expensive, top of the line choices with just about every different type of liquor offered.

The soft bar – Also known as a California bar, where only wine, beer, occasionally champagne, juices and soft drinks are offered.

So what does this all mean? What it means is that you can save nearly 44% by going with a well vodka rather than a top shelf or 60% going with a well gin rather than top shelf gin. The choice is up to you and your budget.

Now, if you are lucky enough to have a site that will let you bring in your own alcohol, this can lead to quite a savings, sometimes. Be sure to ask about corkage fees. Corkage fees are the amount that the site charges to open and serve each bottle that they do not provide. It also covers the stemware needed, labor, and ice for chilling. Sometimes the corkage fees can be so high that it does not pay to bring in your own alcohol.

When buying your own alcohol, make sure you buy from a store that will allow you to return what you do not use and that offers discounts on large purchases. When trying to figure out what you will need remember:

One bottle of wine = 5 glasses
One bottle of champagne = 6 glasses
One case of wine = 12 bottles
One 1 ¾ bottle of liquor = 40 1.5oz servings
One five gallon keg = 53 12oz servigs

One drink every hour is average for guests.
(Figures provided by Nina Willdorf author of Wedding Chic)

Don’t forget when figuring your costs that you are also going to be paying for bartenders (normally $25 an hour and up) tips (make sure you cover the tip and not your guests, you don’t want a tip jar sitting out on the bar).

One question, I always get is about the champagne toast. “Do we need to serve champagne to everyone, have it on the bar or serve it at the table?” Unless you know you have a lot of champagne drinkers, I tell my brides to skip it. Let people toast you with whatever they have in their hands. Most people don’t even like champagne, so you pay a lot for it to be left sitting on the table. If you want to do the toast with the flutes for pictures, ask your site if you can bring in a bottle or purchase a bottle just for the two of you. Place it on the cake table and enjoy. Your guests will never miss it. If you’re not champagne drinkers either, have your planner fill the flutes with something else, no one will be the wiser (except your pocketbook).

Remember for safety reasons to close your bar at least 30 minutes before the end of the night. Also, have rides available for any guests that have had a little too much to drink.

Alcohol - The Biggest Budget Buster

Next to the menu, alcohol is going to eat up the biggest part of your wedding budget. I will try to make this minefield of hidden costs and secret language, a little easier to navigate. First, let’s talk about how your bar can be set up. You have four main choices here.

1) Non-alcohol Bar – let’s say your family is not into drinking for either personal or religious reasons, you can always chose to have a non alcoholic bar, with choices of tea, lemonade, soft drinks, even your own specialty drinks. I have done more than a few weddings where we have had a non-alcoholic cocktail hour. For this we served water flavored with limes, lemons or strawberries slices butlered through the room.
2) Open Bar – Where guests can get any drink they request.
3) Limited Bar – Where you have limited the guests’ choice to a few favorites, most often beer or wine. Also popular now are the offerings of one or two specialty drinks.
4) Cash Bar – Where guests are required to pay for their own drinks. Etiquette wise this is a giant no-no. It would be the same as inviting guests to your home, offering them a drink and then saying that will be $5.00. That being said, it is still a popular choice in some regions of the country. If you are going to do this make sure that your guests are aware ahead of time. Nothing would be worse than your guests showing up without money and everyone scrambling for cash.

But I’m on a budget, what can I do, you ask. Well instead of an open bar all night, why not serve cocktails only during your cocktail hour and switch to only wine or beer when the partying begins. Another choice would be to close the bar during dinner and reopen when the party begins. Choose a cute signature drink that fits in with your theme and serve only those with beer and wine instead of a full open bar. This will please both your liquor drinkers and your wine and beer people.

Now you ask, how much will this cost me? Well nearly all venues charge one of four ways:
1) On Consumption – where you pay per drink for what your guests drink. Good choice if you are sure you will have few drinkers.
2) Per Head – You pay a flat fee based on how many people will attend your event. They can drink as much as they want and you are charged just the agreed upon amount. If you have a lot of big drinkers, this is the way to go.
3) Capped – This is where you tell your venue that you want to spend up to a certain amount and at that time the bar will either shut down or switch to beer and wine.
4) Per Hour – You pay per guest, per hour. The price drops as the night goes on. You might start off at $8.00 per guest, then in hour two it drops to $7.00 per guest and continues dropping as the night goes on.

Tomorrow we will finish talking about things you need to know when deciding on your bar.

Details That Personalize Your Wedding - Part 5 - The Little Details

Now it is time to discuss my favorite part of the wedding, all the little details that can really make a wedding “your” unique event. We can start with napkins. There are of course the linen napkins we discussed early that you can order in any color to dress up your tablescape. There are also the paper napkins that have been around for generations. These can go on the bar and on the cake table. They can be white, ivory or any color that matches your scheme. They can be printed with your name and the date, your monogram, your logo, or even the ever popular “Eat, Drink & Be Married”. Now if you are on a budget, skip these all together, no one will even notice. If you really, really want them, but the budget is tight, get them printed with just your names on them and no date. This way you can use any leftovers at your first dinner party in your new home and nothing goes to waste, giving you more bang for your buck.

Menus, I think are another nice touch. If you are having a sit down dinner they help your guests know what they are going to be eating and drinking. They also can add so much to your table in the way of color. Making them yourself is easy or you can have them printed, if money is no object. Just be sure your caterer reviews them before you have them printed to make sure everything is correct. If you are having a buffet, you might want to place one or two on the tables, so guests know what to look for in line. They can be on the guest tables, on the bar, on the buffet itself or even just one large menu placed on an easel at the start of the buffet line.

Table numbers are another place to let your creativity show. Of course, you can go just about anywhere and buy numbers and holders or ask your site, some provide them. But with a little creativity, you can really use this as an area to show your uniqueness. You can scan pictures of the two of you at different ages, print them out with a number and you have a table number like no one else’s. Maybe take pictures at different places that are special to you and your groom and use these. I’ve even seen pictures of a pet (great way to include your beloved dog in your wedding) posed in different ways with a number, printed and used as table numbers. The sky is definitely the limit here. Whatever says “you”. The same is true with what you use as place cards or escort cards for your guests. You can use votives with the guest’s name and table number; you can use sand dollars, painted with the name and number for a beach themed wedding. Simple cards can be done in your wedding colors. (Hint * if you are serving a choice of entrees at your reception, use your place cards to let the waiter know what choice that guest has made. Pink lettering could mean beef, silver lettering chicken.).

Now let’s talk about favors. Favors run the gamut from the ridiculously expensive to the cheap and everywhere in between. I’ve seen picture frames, cookies, M&M’s in the wedding colors, candles, soap, salt & pepper shakers, wine glasses, coffee mugs, bottle openers, lottery tickets and on and on. Now, from my experience it appears nothing beats food or candy. These are never left behind by guests. Face it, not too many people, besides your mother, want wine glasses with your name on them or coffee mugs with your monogram on it. They may love you dearly, but they don’t want to drink their morning coffee out of a mug with your name on it. So stay away from the monogramming. This is an extra expense that just does not pay off. A new trend that I’m seeing a lot is donating to charity in your guests name. Be careful here, picking a charity that all your guests support is not that easy. I DO Foundation is a good place to start.

There is also the choice of a sign in book. The small guest book with lines for all your guest to sign use to be the way it was done. Now days, you have the sign in mat, the sign in platter, sign in picture book (pictures of the bride and groom printed in book form with blank spaces for guest to sign in on), check out Shutterfly. I personality love the mats. Have your guests sign in and after the wedding place it around a great wedding picture and hang on the wall for everyone to enjoy. During the reception display your engagement picture in the center for guest’s to see while they are signing.

Some other special touch ideas for your wedding are wedding coloring books for the kids that you design and print out yourselves so that they represent your wedding. Set up a children’s area at the reception with the coloring books, a sign in stuff animal that they can write their signatures on and crayons.

For beautiful pictures when leaving, provide your guests with bubbles, rose petals or sparklers (check with your venue and be sure what they allow).

Bathroom baskets are another hit with guests. Now this is something that you can skip if the budget is tight, but they are not that expensive to do. Just go to your drugstore and get sample sizes of anything your guest might need that night, mouthwash, deodorant, sewing kit, hairspray, etc. Place them in a pretty basket (in your colors) in the restroom for guests to use in case of emergency. Brings your theme into the restroom and shows your guests that you were thinking of them.

By now you should be full of ideas of how to make your wedding your own. It’s not that hard it just takes a little imagination and good guidance. That’s where I come in!